Are the idiots in your life driving you crazy? Do you often feel like you are surrounded by idiots? Have you ever wondered if YOU are an idiot? Do the idiotic C.Y.A. instructions on the packaging of most products you buy these days make you feel like the world must think you are an idiot?
The following article contains lessons on stupidity. They cover things you should pretty much never do. There are many, many more lessons we could add, such as not floating face down in the septic tank or not applying your own tattoo with a wood burner and lead-based house paint, but these are normally material for a post-graduate stupidity course. You probably shouldn't attempt to comprehend these high-level concepts until you have mastered the more basic skills.
Experience has shown that the louder you yell the principle to the idiot pupil in question the better the procedure works. (OK, a little honesty here would probably be good. The truth is, shouting the lessons probably won't have much of an effect on the idiot, because as we all know, he/she is an idiot, but it will probably make you feel a little better).
Here are a few suggestions that could change your life if you are someone who is struggling with idiots in your life. If you are an idiot, try to find someone to read these principles to you and then apply them. If you are surrounded by idiots or if you have a loved one who has idiotic tendencies, you will probably want to teach these principles to the idiots in your life. You never know. It might just help.
1. You should never try to lick the bottom of the blender while the blades are still turning.
2. Never drink quarts of vinegar while eating boxes of baking soda.
3. Never clean up nitro-glycerin or unstable nuclear waste with a vacuum cleaner.
4. Never let friends hit you over the head with a baseball bat unless you are wearing a good helmet.
5. Never adjust your TV antenna during a lightening storm.
6. You shouldn't smoke while siphoning gasoline.
7. Don't microwave dynamite.
8. Never dry your hair with a blow torch.
9. Never pick your scabs while swimming with sharks.
10. Never hang glide during a hurricane.
by: Ben Goode
Monday, November 10, 2008
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Bowling Pins and Some Interesting Facts
For the sake of complete information, bowling is a game in which players attempt to score points by rolling a ball along a flat surface called a lane to knock down objects called bowling pins. The least the throw it takes to knock the balls down, the bigger the score. The player with the highest total score wins. Simple enough? Good, because we'll chat about the bowling pins.
The American Bowling Congress (ABC) is the one responsible for controlling bowling pins specification. There are tight tolerances placed upon every bowling pin to ensure that every bowling pin in the game of bowling is standard.
As we all know, there are various ways to play bowling, but only those indoor types of bowling employ the use of pins and lanes. To enumerate, these are the ten-pin, nine-pin, five-pin, duckpin and candlepin bowling. All the pins used are roughly of the same shape, a flower vase-like shape with a rounded head, except for candlepin bowling which has, as the name implies candle shaped pins.
Where did the bowling pin's shape originate? That is an unlikely question, since most of us saw the pin as it was today. Take a pensive look at the shape of a bowling pin, notice a resemblance? Right! It resembles the Kegel, an ancient war club of during the dark ages of Germany. Kegel is also the name of the sport that was the forerunners of present day bowling.
Most bowling pins are made with Rock Maple wood, constructed by gluing blocks together to form roughly the shape of a bowling pin. But there had been attempts to make plastic versions of bowling pins. After the wooden blocks are bound together by glue and shaped by the lathe, the product is then coated with plastic material and finally treated with chemicals to produce the glossy finish.
By: Ray Gaunt
The American Bowling Congress (ABC) is the one responsible for controlling bowling pins specification. There are tight tolerances placed upon every bowling pin to ensure that every bowling pin in the game of bowling is standard.
As we all know, there are various ways to play bowling, but only those indoor types of bowling employ the use of pins and lanes. To enumerate, these are the ten-pin, nine-pin, five-pin, duckpin and candlepin bowling. All the pins used are roughly of the same shape, a flower vase-like shape with a rounded head, except for candlepin bowling which has, as the name implies candle shaped pins.
Where did the bowling pin's shape originate? That is an unlikely question, since most of us saw the pin as it was today. Take a pensive look at the shape of a bowling pin, notice a resemblance? Right! It resembles the Kegel, an ancient war club of during the dark ages of Germany. Kegel is also the name of the sport that was the forerunners of present day bowling.
Most bowling pins are made with Rock Maple wood, constructed by gluing blocks together to form roughly the shape of a bowling pin. But there had been attempts to make plastic versions of bowling pins. After the wooden blocks are bound together by glue and shaped by the lathe, the product is then coated with plastic material and finally treated with chemicals to produce the glossy finish.
By: Ray Gaunt
Friday, September 26, 2008
Viral Video Quickly Becoming Its Own Genre
What works as viral video? What type of video are you, as the viewer, going to want to forward to all your friends, and they, in turn, will want to forward to all their friends, and so on until the “virus” effect of the video has spread to millions?
There are no definite, key examples of what makes a video become viral.
The Videos That Have Become Viral
Why did the Paul Potts video (from Britain’s Got Talent) get 17 million views on YouTube? Because it’s inspirational.
Why did Will Ferrell’s The Landlord become the backbone of his entire Funnyordie website? Because it was funny, and, more importantly, had Will Ferrell in it.
Why did the Cheerleader Getting Run over by a football team become viral? Because it was extreme?
Why did 2 Girls 1 Cup (we refuse to link this video), the single most disgusting and abhorrent video of all time become viral? More on that later.
Do these videos have anything in common? Do they have one identifiable trait that makes them marketable?
“These videos have something inherent in them that makes people want to watch them over and over,” explains Chris, a prominent Independent film Producer from Los Angeles, “There’s no rhyme or reason and there’s no pre-defined set of qualifications.”
“I’ve seen videos fail that featured huge stars and good writing… and they were funny,” states Joey, a Hollywood writer, “They just didn’t have that viral nature.”
Or in the case of a video like The Glitch, featuring American Pie’s Jason Biggs… a little too long.
“People have 30 seconds to 2 minutes to watch a clip at work before they’re caught,” says Tom, an Actor from Los Angeles, “they don’t have 8-10 minutes!”
The Most Disgusting Video Ever - Why Are People Watching It?
2 Girls 1 Cup is perhaps the most graphically disgusting video of all time. It features two women feasting on, let’s just say “fecal matter”. Why did everyone pay attention to it? What was the attraction? It’s unknown.
After that video went viral, a stream of “reaction” videos surfaced. These videos were basically friends filming other friends watching 2 Girls 1 Cup and trying to catch their reaction, which most of the time was a gut wrenching puke.
These reaction videos became more popular than the original video itself, but also served to market the original video unintentionally, with the logic being, “If the reaction is so bad, I’ve gotta see it!”
There are even phony “spoof” reaction videos popping up, the newest of which is Kermit the Frog watching the video and reacting with profanity.
Another spoof is “2 Guys 1 Cup featuring John Mayer”, which happens to be a non offensive video set to the same music but featuring two guys sharing a cup of ice-cream.
Hard to Define
Viral video is hard to define, but it is quickly becoming its own genre.
I had a college professor once, in an attempt to define poetry, say this:
“Poetry is like pornography. It’s tough to define, but you know it when you see it.”
Substitute “Viral Video” for “Poetry” and you have a definition of the viral video genre worthy of Websters.
By: John Heritage
There are no definite, key examples of what makes a video become viral.
The Videos That Have Become Viral
Why did the Paul Potts video (from Britain’s Got Talent) get 17 million views on YouTube? Because it’s inspirational.
Why did Will Ferrell’s The Landlord become the backbone of his entire Funnyordie website? Because it was funny, and, more importantly, had Will Ferrell in it.
Why did the Cheerleader Getting Run over by a football team become viral? Because it was extreme?
Why did 2 Girls 1 Cup (we refuse to link this video), the single most disgusting and abhorrent video of all time become viral? More on that later.
Do these videos have anything in common? Do they have one identifiable trait that makes them marketable?
“These videos have something inherent in them that makes people want to watch them over and over,” explains Chris, a prominent Independent film Producer from Los Angeles, “There’s no rhyme or reason and there’s no pre-defined set of qualifications.”
“I’ve seen videos fail that featured huge stars and good writing… and they were funny,” states Joey, a Hollywood writer, “They just didn’t have that viral nature.”
Or in the case of a video like The Glitch, featuring American Pie’s Jason Biggs… a little too long.
“People have 30 seconds to 2 minutes to watch a clip at work before they’re caught,” says Tom, an Actor from Los Angeles, “they don’t have 8-10 minutes!”
The Most Disgusting Video Ever - Why Are People Watching It?
2 Girls 1 Cup is perhaps the most graphically disgusting video of all time. It features two women feasting on, let’s just say “fecal matter”. Why did everyone pay attention to it? What was the attraction? It’s unknown.
After that video went viral, a stream of “reaction” videos surfaced. These videos were basically friends filming other friends watching 2 Girls 1 Cup and trying to catch their reaction, which most of the time was a gut wrenching puke.
These reaction videos became more popular than the original video itself, but also served to market the original video unintentionally, with the logic being, “If the reaction is so bad, I’ve gotta see it!”
There are even phony “spoof” reaction videos popping up, the newest of which is Kermit the Frog watching the video and reacting with profanity.
Another spoof is “2 Guys 1 Cup featuring John Mayer”, which happens to be a non offensive video set to the same music but featuring two guys sharing a cup of ice-cream.
Hard to Define
Viral video is hard to define, but it is quickly becoming its own genre.
I had a college professor once, in an attempt to define poetry, say this:
“Poetry is like pornography. It’s tough to define, but you know it when you see it.”
Substitute “Viral Video” for “Poetry” and you have a definition of the viral video genre worthy of Websters.
By: John Heritage
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